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| Topic: |
Friends |
| Date: |
July 01, 2009 |
| Runner_22 asks: |
| Ok, so i have these 2 best friends, allie and kertney. then theres this boy, dylan. allie went out with dylan for a little bit, then he went out with kertney a while later. after quite a few months, he dumped her. this was her first heartbreak, ever. she took it hard. and now shes starting to get over him (its been about a month) and allie tells me she might go back out with him. this really upsets kertney. im trying to help both of them, and i dont want to take sides- which i havent so far. but things are reaching a breaking point. im afraid kertney might go into a depression soon. im visiting her in a few days (i moved) and i dont want her to be a bump on a log. i want them to be best friends again. as for allie, she wants kertney back too, but wants to date dylan as well. i want them both to be happy.help?? |
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| helpinhelper says: |
| Honestly, there's nothing you can do but be supportive. Don't try to give out an opinion. If Kertney says "I'm so pissed about xyz," just try to be encouraging. If Allie tells you "good news about Dylan," just be supportive. Really good friends just listen. They'll both appreciate someone they can talk to without being judged. No one's forcing you to take a side, so don't. |
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| Topic: |
Dating |
| Date: |
July 01, 2009 |
| sweetaspie asks: |
| ive never had a boyfriend and im only 13 years old.there were oppertunities for me to date but i turned them down.and theres this boy now we both like each other but were not gone date becuz were not gone be able to see each other becuz were goin to different school in we both dnt like relationships where we dnt see each other,and my bestie gets all the boys. in we talk about them alot but im afraid to tell her dat i never had a boyfriend becuz of the way she'll treat me or respond to me.she tells me all her secrets about boys and i have nothing to tell her. |
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| logomaniac says: |
| No matter what anyone your age says- most 13 year olds have very little experience with actual dating. It's an exciting thing, to start dating and liking different people. It is fine that you don't have as much experience as your friend happens to have had...and more than likely she won't treat you any differently because you've had less. The whole point of dating is to be happy with the experiences you have personally had- and not to worry about your friends and what they are doing or have done. Dating at your age should be new and exciting and not rushed- just have fun with it. And if you like this boy I would suggest you still hang out with him regardless of the fact that you go to different schools. In a few years you could have a wonderful relationship with him, or you two could just remain great friends. |
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| Topic: |
Friends |
| Date: |
June 29, 2009 |
| angelgirl asks: |
| ok im a very quiet girl,i play on a softball team and all the girls on dat team trat me really nice,but then wen we have breaks off no one bothers to hang with me.u kno how dey be asking each other to come over neither one of the girls on my team asked me to come over in hang out,i feel like i have no friends to hang out with. |
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| logomaniac says: |
| If no one is asking you to hang out, it might be a wise choice to start asking them to hang out. Why don't you invite the girls from the team to a sleepover at your house. It will show them that you want to hang out with them and also give you all a chance to get together outside of just being a team. |
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| Topic: |
Dating |
| Date: |
June 27, 2009 |
| controlled. asks: |
| okay, my boyfriend used to be in a pretty bad scene. like drugs and alcohol and such. now he has cleaned up... but he keeps me on a short leash. like if i go party it up with my friends he gets really angry and upset. he even gets mad if im out of my house late, no matter who im with. he basically stops talking to me if i drink at all... and im not rlly into drugs, but i did them once and he yelled at me for hours. i have alcohol abuse and drug abuse running in my family.. but i dont do it enough to get addicted. i told my bf that... but he is persistant in not letting me do any of that. is he being unrealistic? or is he right? |
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| logomaniac says: |
| It is realistic to be worried, but it seems as if he is trying to control his own drug addiction by controlling you. I think you both need to sit down and have a serious discussion- about what your personal boundaries are and what your relationship boundaries are. And give him some credit- he's trying to protect you in the way he feels he should, it's not a bad thing for him to feel protective. He probably doesn't realize that he has overstepped a little bit. |
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| Topic: |
Dating |
| Date: |
June 27, 2009 |
| s'bella asks: |
| okay. well, i have been dating this guy for about 8 months. a while back he broke up with me... obviously i was crushed. but im the type of person who cant be alone. so i found another guy that i kind of liked... and started to fall for him fast. but i still love my ex. then one day he told me he loved me and he was wrong, about a month after the breakup. i took him back, but this other guy was crushed. he told me he loved me, and would be here for me whenever i needed him. which is wierd, because ive talked to a lot of people about him... and they all say the way he acts towards me is totally different then the way hes acted to any other girl. his best friend even told me he was completely in love with me. this guy is... well... perfect for me. but... he gets in trouble lots... and is into a really bad scene. but that doesnt change the way i feel about him. so... i love my boyfriend... but i have really strong feelings towards this other guy... i dont want to throw away everything i have with my boyfriend, because im rlly not sure if what would happen with this other guy... all my friends think i should go with the other guy, but they hate my bf... so... i need an outsiders perspective. |
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| helpinhelper says: |
My advice would be to stick with the STABLE guy. 8-month boyfriend is unstable. He broke up with you (and abandoned a stable relationship), and he's in an unstable lifestyle (breaking the rules, doing bad things). He won't provide for you for your entire life. The 1-month boyfriend is stable, really cares about you, and your friends think you should be with him. While you might love one more than the other, sometimes love just isn't enough. "Follow your heart" is NOT good advice, because your heart only cares about love and attraction. Think about which guy would be a better dad, which guy could give you a better life, etc. Think big picture, not just short-term lust.
Hope this helps |
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| Topic: |
School |
| Date: |
June 23, 2009 |
| geocoolkaykay asks: |
| I need some advice....?
i've been playing vb since 3rd grade...i made my schools team the first time in 7th ( thats our youngest team) im a senior now. im not really like the other girls on the team we all get along and have fun but its not like im best friends with them. my jr. we had alot of people and i ended up being the jv captain. we did really well. i've been told im a good player by other coaches and refs. i made all team and i got a sawa from the refs which is normally given to a team i got it personally. i work hard in practice and give it all i can. i worked with the girls on the varsity team we all play really well together and we did summer tournys where i played with them we won out of 15 schools. the thing is my coach said that she needs me to captain of the jv again.....i feel embarrassed....and i feel overlooked and taken for granted...like i will never be good enough.....do you think im being silly or stupid???? i imagined my senior year on the varsity coach with the kids in my class. i know there are so many more important things in life ....but it bugs me and hurts to think about it.....should i quit ..... or should i just go with even though i feel horrible and sick inside??? i need some outside perspective.....thanks. |
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| logomaniac says: |
| Why should you quit something you love just because it isn't given to you in the form you would prefer? It might be better for you to step up and talk to your coach. Let them know that while you appreciate the honor of helping with the jv you really were hoping to be on varsity. If they insist that you should be on jv then you have the choice of continuing something that you truly love or getting bitter about it and quitting simply because you don't get your way. I am pretty sure quitting something you love isn't a good way to finish out your last year in high school. |
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| Topic: |
General |
| Date: |
June 21, 2009 |
|
| okay so me and my best friend have been distanced lately i guess i dtenced myself after my sister-in-laws tragic death. i really miss her and i try to talk to her but she has a new bff and i was wanting to know what i should do? she is the only friend i have i already lost one person........i dont wanna lose anymore. i feel so bad and alone i am begining to think tht i should have been killed instead of my sister-in-law. so do u have any advice i am begging. |
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| logomaniac says: |
| It is understandable that you are still grieving for your sister-in-law, grief is a long process that never truly leaves us. If you miss your friend you simply need to be honest with her. A lot of times, friends want to be there for us when we go through hard times but sometimes they simply just don't know how to be there in a way that is helpful. I suggest you go to her and tell her that you know she's been hanging out with and getting very close to a new person but that you would still really like being friends with her. Let her know that although you have been having a really hard time dealing with stuff after your sister-in-law's death that you really do miss your friendship with her and hope that things can settle back down to normal in that aspect. |
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| Topic: |
General |
| Date: |
June 18, 2009 |
| mANDY asks: |
| How do I turn my boyfriend on again after we already had sex one time? I am a pretty good looking young girl and I like to have sex more than once a day if its on the weekend, and not planned sex either. Like if I feel like my boyfriend looks really good I want to show that. But after we have sex it only lasts for like 5-6 minutes and then he's done, and I am just getting started. But he says he's tired and can't possibly do it again and it's like a big deal for him. He's only 21, so I'm just wondering maybe he has a problem? He eats A LOT OF CRAP like sweets and stuff: maybe that has something to do with it. I tried to get him to see a doctor but I think that only pissed him off. A healthy sex life is EXTREMELY important to me. What do I do? |
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| wilddawg says: |
Honestly, you really need to evaluate your relationship with him. Whether his lack of stamina is based on diet or HIM, it's hard to say. For him to climax in 6 minutes aint bad. However, that's a bit early and a snugger fit condom or perhaps you perfoming oral or a handjob on him can slow him down.
Additionally, his tongue or hand can help you be satisfied.
Don't yell at him but calmly tell him your concerns so you BOTH can find ways to make your sex life better. |
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| Topic: |
Gay/Les/Bi |
| Date: |
June 18, 2009 |
| shehe asks: |
| I feel very awkward asking this question. I am a 13 year old girl, and I feel like I'm trapped inside my own body. I have never told anyone about this before, and I'm really confused. Are there certain ways to tell if your transgender or not? I feel like I'm more attracted to guys, but I sometimes have thoughts about girls too. I'm a little young to figure it out on my own, but I've watched my fair share of those sex-change shows. I also feel like I go on the Internet a lot, because there I am anonymous, and I can say I'm a boy. I know the works of sex, so you don't need to tiptoe around the answer. I couldn't even imagine telling anyone I know about this problem. I feel like puberty is hitting, and it's hitting hard. I can't stand having boobs, it makes me feel even more uncomfortable. Another awkward question. Is there some kind of strap-on penis that is wearable? If so, could you provide detail? I really appreciate you listening to this. It was really hard for me to say, because I feel like I've been lying to myself, and repressing these feelings. Thank you. |
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| rickweber says: |
First, than you for sharing. There's no test that tells you whether or not you're a transsexual. If you feel like you are, I'd suggest reading these two resources:
HRC- Transgender Americans: A Handbook for Understanding
http://www.hrc.org/documents/TransgenderAmericans.pdf
PFlag- Welcoming Our Transgender Family and Friends
http://community.pflag.org/Document.Doc?id=202
Both are written from the perspective of friends and family of trans people, but it should give you a better idea of what it means to be transgender and some of the issues other trans people face.
Another idea for you is to visit the SCN LGBT forum. It is a good place to talk about what you're feeling, and there are people who will help you. There are other trans people who do visit it, so that may be a good place for you.
http://forums.student.com/viewforum.php?f=12
The internet is a great way to find information, but be selective of the source. Just as there is a lot of good information out there, there are a lot of bad sources, inaccurate information, and outdated research. Something worthy of looking at is how transsexualism is treated. Before people ever get to hormone treatment or a surgery table, they have to be diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder. From there they must undergo therapy and other requirements. This is what most professionals follow when treating GID.
Harry Benjamin's Standards of Care for GID
http://wpath.org/Documents2/socv6.pdf |
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| Topic: |
Family |
| Date: |
June 16, 2009 |
| masterminder asks: |
| recently, My families had a BIG problem starting with my mother and my older brother which resulted in my father having to bail my mother out of jail in february. 2 months later started this issue all over again with my mother and brother Which once again resulted in my father bailing my mother out of jail. My mother and brother have had continuous Sourt trials which result in fines that my father has to pay for which means he has no money to pay the bills and the rent for the month. a week ago my friend had asked me if i wanted to run away and i said yes. I'm really afriad what might happen to our family and i really don't know what to do. If i leave I might never see them again and If i stay then i wont have a house to live in anymore if my mother and brother keep on fighting,...Can someone pleasee help me? |
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| wilddawg says: |
I honestly think your brother and mom should pay their own fines thus they should get jobs. I'm sorry that you're dealing with this drama and the fear of losing your home.
Please don't run away because it may backfire by you going to jail, getting killed, and etc.
I'd seriously discuss your concerns with a counselor, minister, a teen hotline, or via the links I'm giving you:
http://www.nineline.org/ 800-999-9999
http://www.teenlineonline.org/
http://www.boystown.org/kidsteens/index.asp
http://teenresources.student.com/wiki/Family_Life
While things seem rough right now, they will GET BETTER. One of those links I provided will hook you up with counselling or other suggestions that should improve your family life.
I wish you the best. |
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